"Get Naked" Funny Bathroom Mat

Blush Bare

$119.99 $202.99

"Get Naked" Funny Bathroom Mat

$119.99 $202.99

Free tracked shipping — worldwide, on every order

30-day hassle-free returns — no questions asked

Dispatched in 1–2 business days

SSL-encrypted secure checkout

Which Style?

The joke is the same in all six — what changes is how loudly it tells it. Some of these read as a design choice that happens to say something rude. Others are unmistakably a punchline on the floor. Decide which reaction you want from the guest who walks in.

Choose	If this sounds like you
Blush Bare	You want the joke, but softly. A pale, warm-toned bathroom where a loud mat would fight the room. Your mother-in-law visits and you would like her to smile rather than raise an eyebrow.
Naked Bold	No hedging. High contrast, large lettering, visible from the hallway. This is the housewarming gift version and the share-house version.
Midnight Naked	A dark bathroom — charcoal tile, black tapware — or you are simply tired of pale mats showing every footprint and hair. The dark ground does a lot of quiet hiding between washes.
Rainbow Rinse	A shared bathroom that is already cheerful chaos. Multi-colour lettering that suits a house with kids, housemates, or anyone who thinks a bathroom should not be beige.
Colour Splash	An all-white bathroom that needs one thing in it with colour. This is the one that works as the only piece of personality in an otherwise plain rental.
Check Mate	You like the checkerboard look and the joke is a bonus. Reads as a deliberate retro design piece first, and you only clock the words on the second look.

If it is a gift, Naked Bold. If it is for your own ensuite, one of the quieter three.

Is it going to slide across the floor, and how does it wash?

Bath mats slip because of the floor underneath, not because of the mat. Put it on a clean, dry, flat surface and it stays. Put it on a floor with a film of soap residue, or on top of another rug, and nothing will hold it.

Works on	Avoid
Ceramic and porcelain tile. Vinyl and lino. Sealed floorboards and laminate. Concrete. Outside a shower, beside a bath, or in front of the vanity.	On top of another rug or carpet. Inside the shower or tub itself — this is a floor mat, not a tub mat. Floors still wet from mopping. Any floor with a soap-scum film, which is slippery no matter what you put on it.

Washing: cold machine wash on a gentle cycle, on its own or with towels, no bleach and no fabric softener. Softener coats the pile and kills absorbency, which is the whole job. The step people skip is the drying. Hang it or tumble on low — high heat is what makes a mat go stiff and curl at the corners, and a curled corner is a trip hazard. Give the bathroom floor a proper dry-mop before the mat goes back down.

The one thing in your bathroom that is not trying to be tasteful.

Bathrooms get decorated last and least. You end up with a beige mat that came from a supermarket, a beige towel, and a room nobody has thought about since the day the tiles went in. Meanwhile the bath mat is genuinely the most-used object in there — wet feet land on it twice a day, every day. It may as well be doing something. This one is the version that makes people laugh, gets mentioned at parties, and still does the actual job of stopping you from tracking water down the hallway.

"Get Naked" Funny Bathroom Mat on a bathroom floor in use

A novelty mat still has to be a good mat

Most joke bath mats are printed onto something thin and plasticky, and the pile flattens into a damp mat-shaped pancake inside a month. The test is what happens on the second and third foot. A mat that soaks up the first person's water and then sits saturated is useless in a household — it is still wet at 9am when the next person gets out of the shower, and it starts to smell by Wednesday.

What matters is a dense pile that pulls water off your soles rather than smearing it around, and that then releases that water back into the air fast enough to be dry again before the next shower. Get that right and the mat stays fresh between washes. Get it wrong and you are washing it twice a week and wondering why the bathroom smells damp.

Blush Bare — the soft-spoken one. Warm pale tone, lettering that reads clearly up close but blends from the doorway. Suits pink, cream and pale timber bathrooms, and it is the version you can leave down when guests stay.
Naked Bold — maximum contrast and the biggest lettering of the six. Nobody misreads this one. It is the standard housewarming gift for a reason.
Midnight Naked — dark ground, light type. The most forgiving day to day, because dark floors and dark mats hide the between-wash reality of a bathroom. Pairs with black tapware and charcoal tile.
Rainbow Rinse — multi-colour lettering across the mat. Cheerful and unserious, which is the right register for a family bathroom or a share house where nothing else matches anyway.
Colour Splash — scattered colour rather than a single accent. The one to pick when the bathroom is entirely white and you want exactly one object in it doing something.
Check Mate — checkerboard pattern with the wording worked into it. Reads as a retro design piece first and a joke second, so it holds up in a bathroom you actually care about the look of.

"Get Naked" Funny Bathroom Mat pile and material texture close-up

What You're Getting

One bathroom floor mat in your chosen Style, from the six above
Soft pile underfoot, so stepping out of the shower is not a cold shock on tile
Absorbent surface that lifts water off your soles instead of moving it around the floor
Sits outside the shower, beside the bath, or at the vanity — for the floor, not the tub
Machine washable, cold, gentle cycle, no bleach
Skip the fabric softener — it coats the pile and stops it absorbing
Hang or tumble on low; high heat stiffens the mat and curls the corners
Works as a gift for a housewarming, a new share house, or anyone whose bathroom is dull